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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25735018">New Love and Expectation Management</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/onemechanicalalligator/pseuds/onemechanicalalligator'>onemechanicalalligator</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Troy &amp; Abed Being Wholesome [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Community (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Canon Autistic Character, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Grinding, Hand Jobs, M/M, Meltdown, Sensory Overload, Stimming</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:48:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,278</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25735018</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/onemechanicalalligator/pseuds/onemechanicalalligator</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Abed has a meltdown at an inconvenient moment, and Troy makes sure he knows that it's okay.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Troy &amp; Abed Being Wholesome [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1874149</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>242</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>New Love and Expectation Management</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thanks for helping me coming up with the premise - you know who you are &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first time Troy and Abed kiss, it’s perfect. It’s slow and sweet and warm, snuggled up in a nest of pillows on the bottom bunk in the blanket fort. It’s <em> inevitable </em> and it’s <em> magical </em> and it’s <em> comfortable </em> and it’s <em> finally. </em> It’s the middle of the night, the room lit only by moonlight and the glow of Abed’s laptop on the floor, and the only sound is the score from <em> Lord of the Rings</em>, which Abed neglected to turn off when they stopped watching it.</p><p>One thing leads to another as they move, touch, taste, explore all the ways they can make each other feel good, and it turns out there are a lot of them. Both of them try to stay quiet, since it’s so late, and it takes a lot to contain each gasp and whimper, to muffle the involuntary moans and strangled sounds that don’t care what time it is. Afterwards, they fall asleep holding each other, wrecked and spent, skin on skin and limbs tangled, and it’s good, and it’s new, and it’s perfect.</p><p>It’s similar, those first few times, as they get to know these new parts of each other. It’s easy, when they’re already in bed, to go from movies to cuddling to snuggling to kissing to <em> more </em> and <em> more </em> and <em> more. </em> It becomes like a routine, which Abed likes, and each time is a little bit new, which Troy likes, and sliding from Friendship to Relationship is shockingly easy.</p>
<hr/><p>It’s Sunday afternoon, and Troy and Abed have been dating for a whole week. Annie is out for the day, so they have the apartment to themselves, and the sun is streaming through the windows, warm and bright. Abed is on the couch watching <em> Kickpuncher </em> and Troy is finishing up his homework, and Annie baked an apple pie before leaving in the morning, so the apartment is sweet with cinnamon.</p><p>“Okay,” says Troy, closing his textbook and standing up. “I did it. It’s done!”</p><p>“Nice!” says Abed, and he means it, because Troy has spent the last three days struggling with this assignment. “Want me to restart the movie? Or switch to a different one?”</p><p>“No, just leave it,” Troy says, sitting down next to Abed on the couch.</p><p>“But you’ve missed half the movie,” Abed protests, turning to face Troy.</p><p>“Right, but I’ve seen it before,” Troy says. “And also maybe we don’t have to actually finish watching it? Maybe we could do something else instead?” He snakes an arm around Abed’s waist and pulls him closer.</p><p>The feeling of Troy’s arm sends something sharp and not entirely pleasant shooting through Abed’s body, but he chooses to ignore it because he wants to be close to Troy, to be <em> with </em> Troy, especially when they have all this time and space to themselves. Troy lays his head on Abed’s shoulder, and Abed can smell Troy’s shampoo. <em> Kickpuncher </em>is still playing on the TV, and Abed wishes he had thought to turn the volume down.</p><p>Troy leans up and kisses Abed on the mouth, and Abed kisses back, and it’s a good kiss, drawn out and heated. It escalates quickly until they are full-on making out, intense and messy and a little bit frantic, and he likes it, and he wants more, and at the same time all he can think about is the window and how bright it is, there’s <em> so much sun.  </em></p><p>He closes his eyes and shifts his position, and the feeling of his t-shirt moving against his skin is like sandpaper, and he pulls away for a second without meaning to. The smell of the pie is overwhelming; <em> how is he just now noticing? </em> He leans back in and starts to kiss Troy again, pressing up against his body, determined to focus only on him and forget about everything else.</p><p>His focus lasts about ten seconds, until Troy runs his hand up under Abed’s shirt and against his skin, a thing he’s done tons of times with no problem, and Abed <em> loses it, </em> because it <em> startles </em> him and it <em> hurts </em> and his clothes are <em> scratchy </em> and the movie is <em> loud </em> and the light is giving him a <em> headache </em> and the smell of the pie mixed with Troy’s shampoo makes him think he might be <em> sick, </em> and he pulls away from Troy and hits the floor, folding up until his knees are pressed against his chest and his hands are pressed over his ears, and the high pitched wailing sounds like it’s so far away, but he knows it’s coming from his own throat.</p>
<hr/><p>Troy goes on autopilot. He yanks the blinds down to dim the room and turns the TV off. He dashes to the blanket fort and grabs Abed’s weighted blanket and a metal <em> Scooby-Doo </em> lunch box that he keeps in the drawer next to his bed. Back in the living room, Abed hasn’t changed positions, but he’s rocking back and forth.</p><p>“Can I put your blanket around you?” Troy says softly, leaning close to Abed’s ear and hoping he’s speaking just loudly enough for Abed to hear him, hoping it’s not too much.</p><p>Abed doesn’t say anything but he stops rocking and nods, and Troy carefully drapes it over his shoulders. Then he sets the lunch box on the floor next to Abed.</p><p>“I have your stim toys,” he says in the same low voice. “They’re on the floor by your feet, okay? Do you want me to hand you one?” </p><p>Abed doesn’t say anything right away, but eventually the wailing starts to die down, and finally stops completely. When he speaks, it’s muffled by his knees.</p><p>“Could you hand me the tangle. And something to chew on. Please.” His voice is cracked and dull and quiet, but Troy understands and reaches into the box, pulling out a twisted and textured piece of plastic and, from a smaller box inside, a string that holds a silicone circle. He rests the plastic against Abed’s hand until Abed reaches for it, and he loops the string of the other toy around Abed’s wrist. </p><p>“Thank you,” Abed croaks.</p><p>“Is there anything else you need?” Troy asks, not wanting to hover and overwhelm Abed, but also wanting to make sure he’s taken care of. </p><p>“Could you put that pie in the fridge?” Abed asks, which is not at all what Troy was expecting. “It’s just...the smell of that...and your shampoo…”</p><p>“Yeah, of course, buddy. Hey, I can also put <em> Inspector Spacetime </em> on real quiet if you want.”</p><p>“Yes, please.”</p><p>Troy gets everything set up. He chooses Abed’s favorite season, turns the volume down very low, just barely loud enough to be heard at all. He sits on the couch and watches, every once in a while flickering his gaze over to Abed, who has started rocking again, though not wailing, just to make sure he’s okay. He watches and waits, and after four episodes, Abed emerges from his cocoon.</p><p>Troy doesn’t watch him then, he lets Abed put himself back together without an audience, because he thinks that’s what <em> he </em> would want if he were in Abed’s place, and also he knows Abed will tell him if he needs help with something. He doesn’t, and when Abed finally comes and joins Troy on the couch, it’s like the best gift in the world.</p>
<hr/><p>They spend the rest of the day watching <em> Inspector Spacetime, </em> and they don’t really talk about Abed’s meltdown until that night when they’re getting ready for bed. Troy asks Abed which bunk he plans on sleeping in that night -- most of the time they share the bottom, but sometimes one of them, usually Abed, will take the top bunk if he needs some space. It’s been their system since long before they started dating.</p><p>“Bottom bunk,” Abed says, and then hesitates. “I mean, if that’s okay with you.”</p><p>“Why <em> wouldn’t </em> it be?” Troy asks, wide-eyed.</p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p>“Abed,” Troy says, and gives him a Look.</p><p>“We’ve been dating for a week and up until today our physical relationship was perfect and now I feel like I kind of ruined it,” Abed says, all in a rush.</p><p>“You didn’t ruin a thing,” Troy says, taking a step closer to Abed and wrapping his arms around him. “What’s going on? You usually don’t…”</p><p>“Freak out this much after a meltdown?”</p><p>“Well...yeah.”</p><p>“It’s just…” Abed takes a breath, tries to think how to explain this. “Having a meltdown in the cafeteria, or in a classroom, or with our friends...it’s not ideal. It’s terrible, actually. They’re always terrible.” He sits down on the bed and looks up at Troy. “But there’s something so much more intimate about kissing, about sex, there’s so much more <em>vulnerability </em>involved. And to let myself be that vulnerable and then have it end...how it ended today…”</p><p>“You’re ashamed,” Troy whispers.</p><p>Abed nods. “And embarrassed.”</p><p>Troy sits down next to Abed and pulls him close. He rests his head on Abed’s shoulder.</p><p>“Is there anything I can say to make you feel better? Or do you want me just to hold you for a while?”</p><p>“The second one, I think.”</p><p>“Cool. Are you okay?”</p><p>“I’m going to ask you a question, and it’s maybe dumb, but I have to ask anyway.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“You’re not going to stop kissing me now are you?”</p><p>“I love you, Abed, but that is <em> definitely </em>a dumb question.”</p><p>“Just checking.”</p><p>“Um, can I ask you a maybe dumb question, though, since you asked me one?”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“Did I do something wrong? Was it...my fault?”</p><p>“Troy...no. Nothing about that was your fault.”</p><p>“Just checking.”</p>
<hr/><p>The next night Troy waits nervously for Abed to get home from having dinner with Jeff. He had an idea, and he thought it was a good one, but now he’s not so sure, now he’s worried about accidentally offending Abed, or making him feel bad or something, and he doesn’t want Abed <em> ever </em> to feel bad, he just wants--</p><p>He hears the front door open, and a few seconds later the sheets that make up the entrance to the blanket fort part and Abed walks in. He takes a second and looks around.</p><p>The fort is dim, the only light coming from a small lamp on the dresser. Next to the lamp are Abed's blackout mask, headphones, and a fidget cube. The bed is covered in pillows and Abed's weighted blanket is folded up at one end. The score to <em> Indiana Jones </em> is playing very, very softly on the computer. Troy is sitting on the edge of the bed.</p><p>"How was dinner?" Troy asks, as Abed looks around.</p><p>"Fine. What's all this?" Abed asks, gesturing vaguely. </p><p>“I, uh, thought we could try again. Only if you want to. But I tried to set it up in a way that would make you most comfortable. Did I make it weird? I’m sorry if I made it weird. I just wanted to--”</p><p>Abed flies at him and throws his arms around Troy, their mouths colliding awkwardly as Abed overestimates the distance between them and stumbles. It’s a passionate kiss, all teeth and tongues and hot breath, and when they pull apart, Abed squeezes Troy into a bone-crushing hug, as if to say, <em> I can’t believe you did this for me, </em> and Troy holds him close and rubs his back, kisses his neck, hoping to make Abed understand, <em> I would do anything for you. </em></p><p>They tumble onto the bed, kicking off shoes and still wrapped in each other, pausing to look in each other’s eyes.</p><p>“This is perfect,” Abed whispers.</p><p>“Really?” Troy breathes. “I didn’t make you feel weird or anything?”</p><p>“You made me feel <em> safe,” </em> Abed says, and holds Troy close, his chin resting on Troy’s head. He pulls it away suddenly. “Did you change your shampoo?”</p><p>“Yeah, I asked Britta to take me to that hippie store she shops at and I found one that was fragrance-free.”</p><p>“You didn’t have to do that,” Abed says after a slight pause, his voice rough with emotion.</p><p>“I wanted to,” Troy says.</p><p>Abed closes his eyes and purses his lips, taking a deep breath in and out. When he opens his eyes, they are even more gentle and mysterious than usual, and Troy feels like Abed is looking straight into his heart.</p><p>“I love you,” Abed whispers.</p><p>“I know,” Troy replies with a grin, and Abed’s eyes light up, and Troy pulls him down so they’re laying next to each other in the nest of pillows.</p><p>“This is perfect,” Abed says, turning his head to look at Troy.</p><p>“I’m glad,” Troy says, gazing back at Abed, unable to look away. “I just...wanted to make it good for you.”</p><p>Abed leans forward and kisses him, placing a hand on Troy’s hip underneath his shirt.</p><p>“You did all of this for me. Of course it’s good. You did <em> all of this for me.” </em> Abed sounds awestruck and a little uncertain.</p><p>“Yeah, buddy,” Troy says. “I’d do anything for you. This was actually pretty low-effort, all things considered.”</p><p>That makes Abed laugh, which, really, Troy isn’t sure there’s anything better in the entire world than making Abed laugh. He reaches out and places a hand on Abed’s face, cupping his chin, stroking his jawline. Then he runs his hand slowly through Abed’s hair, enjoying how silky and slippery it is.</p><p>“Mmm,” says Abed, closing his eyes, and Troy does it again, and Abed’s breath stutters a little.</p><p>Troy kisses Abed on the temple, lingering for a second on the warm, delicate skin. He kisses Abed’s forehead, and the scar where he broke his nose that one time, and then his mouth, one, two, three chaste kisses on the lips. He’s about to pull away when Abed tosses his leg around Troy, pulling him closer, and then Abed’s hand is reaching up Troy’s back, touching and stroking and brushing his bare skin, and finally reaching for the hem of his shirt and tugging on it like a question.</p><p>“Yeah,” Troy says, and pulls it off, dropping it on the floor.</p><p>Abed takes off his cardigan and Troy glances at him before reaching to help him take his t-shirt off, waits for that slight nod, and then goes for it. They hug each other close, then, heartbeat to heartbeat, and Abed begins to kiss Troy’s collarbones, to suck gently on the side of his throat, and Troy can’t help himself, he shifts positions so his knee is between Abed’s legs, effectively flipping himself so he’s hovering over Abed.</p><p>“Is this okay?” he murmurs in Abed’s ear.</p><p>“Yeah,” Abed says softly, putting both hands on Troy’s waist and pulling him closer. He lifts up his head a little and Troy understands. He leans down and kisses Abed on the mouth, pressing him into the pillows, putting his whole body into it, enjoying the way they fit together. They roam their hands around each other as they kiss. Abed squeezes Troy, because he knows how much he likes it. In turn, Troy presses and taps patterns with his hands and fingers, remembering how Abed tried to explain to him how good the pressure feels sometimes.</p><p>Things get more heated, and their breathing gets louder as they move more frantically against each other, and Troy knows they could do more, go further than this, but this is good and comfortable and familiar, and this is maybe what Abed needs right now, and this is definitely what Troy needs right now. </p><p>Troy can feel when Abed starts to get close, the way he arches against him, reaching for more, his breathing ragged. He moves with Abed, gives him what he needs, grinds against his hips and punctuates his movements with kisses, sloppy and imprecise. When Abed starts to whimper, Troy doubles down. He shoves a hand between them and grabs hold of the button of Abed’s jeans.</p><p>“Yes?” he asks, breathless, and Abed nods furiously. Troy quickly unfastens the button and yanks Abed's jeans partway down, then reaches in and lets his hand take over what has been pure friction until this point. Abed gasps and his hips jerk forward, his eyes shut tight and mouth fallen open. Soon he is shuddering and crying out, and Troy is mesmerized by the look on his face, one he couldn’t describe if he wanted to, one unique to Abed in this moment.</p><p>Troy hugs him tight and they lay there for a little while as Abed comes back to himself, and Troy is about to ask him if he needs anything when Abed moves so his mouth is right in front of Troy's, so their lips are almost touching and they are breathing each other’s air, and he just stays like that, eyes open, watching Troy.</p><p>It’s incredibly hot, and when Troy leans forward to turn it into a kiss, Abed pulls back a little, teasing him. Abed licks his lips and Troy feels a shiver down his spine. Again, he leans towards Abed, and again, Abed leans back, and when Troy narrows his eyes at him, Abed laughs. Then he takes Troy by the shoulders and lays him gently down in the nest of pillows.</p><p>“Is this okay?” he murmurs, reaching for Troy’s fly, and Troy groans as he nods.</p><p>It takes Abed a second to get Troy’s pants unfastened, because his fingers are a little clumsy, but Troy likes it, and if anything it just feels like more teasing, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like that, too. When Abed finally figures it out, he slides Troy’s pants down and then lays a hand on Troy’s thigh and looks up at him, unmoving.</p><p>“Abed,” Troy says, trying to sound stern, but it comes out raw and hoarse.</p><p>“Mmm,” hums Abed, leaning forward to kiss him. He moves his hand ever so slightly higher up Troy’s thigh.</p><p><em> “Abed,” </em> Troy whines, and this time Abed gives in, wrapping his hand around Troy, and <em> wow, </em> does Troy love Abed’s fingers. It doesn’t take much, after that, and Troy tries to bite back the moan growing in his throat, but he can’t, and he comes loudly as Abed kisses his forehead, and he likes that, he likes Abed. He <em> loves </em> Abed.</p><p>They lay there together for who knows how long, tired and comfy and happy. Troy can’t really fathom how lucky he is to be here with Abed, to do this with Abed, to know Abed is <em> his. </em> It seems almost wrong, somehow, that he should have found a relationship like this, and he didn’t even have to <em> look, </em> it was just <em> there. </em>Like it was meant to be. Maybe it was. </p><p>He reaches for Abed’s hand, and squeezes. Abed squeezes back.</p><p>He’s stashed a tub of wipes under the bed, because he knows Abed hates to be sticky, and they take a few minutes to clean up and change into pajamas and get ready for bed. Then they return to the pillow nest and curl up together, Troy’s head on Abed’s chest, each of them touching the other as much as possible. Troy pulls Abed’s weighted blanket over both of them, and he can understand why Abed likes it, because it’s safe and warm and grounding.</p><p>“I know what you were trying to do,” Abed says softly, his lips brushing the back of Troy’s head.</p><p>“What’s that?” Troy says.</p><p>“You were trying to prove that I didn’t ruin it,” Abed says. “And that you’d keep kissing me.”</p><p>“Did it work?” Troy asks, gently squeezing Abed’s side.</p><p>“Yeah,” Abed says, barely more than a whisper, and snuggles even closer to Troy. “It did.”</p>
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